Get out of your head & into your Real Confidence

A common obstacle to self confidence is worrying about what others think of us.    the drop in confidence begins inside our heads with a thought: “What will they think?”  “What will they say?”  “What will they do?”

Your Real Confidence is Your SuperPower!

These thoughts are like reverse superpowers – they are powerful enough to trigger feelings which turn into behaviors (inc. actions and body postures).  When we are in our heads worrying about what others think we literally begin to make ourselves as small and as quiet as possible.  This is in order to avoid being vulnerable – what we imagine people might think about us or do to us.

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Knowing that Eleanor Roosevelt is right (that most people are really not thinking about you as much as you imagine) is not the same as knowing how to control the link between your confidence and your thoughts.

The Real Confidence workshop helps you to understand a how your thought are linked to feelings of confidence; you experience how the way you think affects how you feel and both in turn are expressed non-verbally through your body postures, speech and actions.  Using improv and facilitation you experience how managing one of these aspects of yourself (your thoughts or your feelings or your body postures) changes the others.  You get real and immediate feedback through your own body and mind about how to immediately recover Real Confidence.

Affirm Your Confidence

The unconscious mind is very susceptible to suggestion.  That’s how and why hypnosis works, and our habitual thoughts are like self-hypnosis.  The good news is that we can use this suggestibility to make positive changes in our lives.

Here are two suggestions:

  1. Make a list of your strengths, talents, and accomplishments.  Everyone has their own talents and abilities, of you look carefully.  We often over-value the things others can do that we can’t, but undervalue the things that come easy to us and assume everyone can do it.  It’s not true – you are unique.   Be honest with yourself and list your skills, talents and abilities.   The read from this list daily to remind you of your uniqueness, your value and your positive strengths.
  2. Write affirmations around the things you would like to achieve.  Here are some examples –  “I am at ease when surrounded by strangers”, or “I am willing and excited to try new things” or “I am comfortable saying no people”.  You will know the affirmations that you need.   Then repeat them out loud every day, morning.

Our unconscious mind tends to believe the messages it is constantly exposed to. So your confidence is influenced tremendously by your daily thoughts, especially recurring thoughts. Consistency is key to lasting change. If you want to be more confident, make a habit of reminding yourself of your unique gifts and abilities.

Boost your confidence -come along to our Real Confidence course on May 21st and 22nd

Turn Anxiety into Action – 6 Easy Steps

6 Easy Steps To Turn Your Anxieties Into Actions

  1. Make a list of the top three anxieties that lurk in your mind, the main worries that keep you back.
    anxiety action 2 (e.g. if I speak to people I don’t know, I might not be able to think of anything to say)
  2. Reframe each anxiety into a positive outcome rather than a negative fear.
    (e.g. I want to be sure to have things to talk about when I talk to strangers)
  3. By each one, write a step you can take to help achieve this outcome
    (.e.g. I can learn a simple list of questions I could ask a stranger about themselves)
  4.  Write a list of affirmations based on each outcome you are looking for.
    (e.g. “I am at ease talking to strangers, and interested in what they have to say”)
  5. Carry out the actions listed in No. 3 above.
  6. Repeat the affirmations listed in No. 4 above, out loud, at least twice daily.

Come along to our Real Confidence course on May 21st and 22nd

Confidence: an experience not a trait

No one is ever 100% confident 100% of the time, most of us experience shifts in the way we feel about ourselves, moment by moment.  Confidence rises and falls – that’s the nature of confidence.

real confidence oct15_1At the Real Confidence workshop you will learn about the 4 facts which will help you to manage your Real Confidence in more situations, with more people, more often.

The four facts are:

  1. Confidence is a state not a personality trait.
  2. Confidence is an internal experience expressed outwards
  3. Confidence is a story we tell ourselves so we can tweak and alter that story
  4. Confidence can be learnt and real confidence comes with practice

To find out how to get back into your life with Real Confidence join us on May 20 & 21.

How to improve your confidence – sit up and take notice!

Sit up, stand tall in your confidenceSo many words about how we feel have a physical aspect – over the moon, down in the dumps, under the weather.  How we feel, how we think and how we hold ourselves are intimately inter-connected, and this shows up in how we express confidence.

A well-known TED talk by Amy Cuddy talks about how two minutes of “power poses” increases levels of testosterone and decreases levels of cortisol in the brain.  Stress decreases, confidence rises. It also changes how people perceive you.

There’s also research showing that the connection between how we feel and our facial expression is two-way, not one-way.  We can affect how we feel literally putting on a happy or sad face, and this in turn will affect our bodies and our thought process.

There are many ways to tackle poor self-confidence.  One is just to, as Amy Cuddy says, “fake it until you become it”.  Sit up, stand tall, put on a confident face and body, and it will eventually become who you are!

Come along to our next Real Confidence workshop on May 20th and 21st 2017 in Birmingham

Confidence is a Fluid State not a Fixed Personality Trait

No one is 100% confident 100% of the time.  Most of us experience shifts in the way we feel about ourselves, moment by moment.  This is because confidence is a fluid state not a fixed personality trait.Eraly Bird

What matters is not having a crisis of confidence but rather what happens next.  The easiest way to recover your Real Confidence is to get out of your head and back into your reality, your life, right her and right now!

The 2-day Real Confidence workshop on May 20 & 21 will show you how to use your mind and body to interrupt and manage your feelings, thoughts, actions and reactions. Facilitated by interpersonal communications expert Jon Trevor, and Coach / psychotherapist Wanjiku Nyachae, you’ll be challenged to feel, play, connect, and express your very own personal brand of self-confidence.

“There is so much confidence that I can take from the moments we spent together.” Participant 2015

“Your approach was so helpful and sensitive, you helped me to find my confident self again” Participant 2016

Places are limited and the Early Bird Discount ends 31 March 2017.

To Book Now email

To find out more visit our website:

Feeling Good

comfort zoneFeeling good about ourselves is something we need to learn to do because it’s essential to experiencing Real Confidence.

Being able to feel good about ourselves is often a struggle. There’s an incorrect but commonly held belief that we should naturally esteem and value ourselves, even less helpful is the belief that we are either born confident or we are not. No baby is born without confidence but many learn not to feel confident.

We imagine that it’s not something we ‘should’ have to consciously work for because if we have to work for it then something’s not right. As my favourite TV judge often says in her inimitable Brox accent “That’s Boloney!”

Many of us were never taught how to develop, understand and sustain good feelings and confidence about ourselves but we can learn! Real Confidence Workshops is a practical, nurturing and enjoyable way to begin the journey back to your Real Confidence.

If you want to change the way you feel and think about your own self confidence join us on May 20 & 21 at the Real Confidence workshop.